The finish line is always on my mind. The end game. The finale.
I'm always waiting to be a finished product.
This mindset applies to me physically and mentally. Over a two year period I lost eighty five pounds. I completely changed my diet and began exercising. I wanted to be that girl with a before and after picture. The beginning and the end. The finished product.
I'm not a finished product.
Yes, I've lost a lot of weight but I don't look the way that I thought I would.
Mentally I am more confident and less insecure. I am stronger. I have a backbone but I am not a finished product. I still have dark days. Days where I don't like myself. Days where I wish I was a completely confident finished product.
People glorify the end. They glorify the finished product. What they don't glorify is the process. What they don't glorify is the blood, sweat, and tears in the process.
The process is the real goal. To work hard in the process. To not give up in the process.
I was listening to a message by Pastor Carl Lentz, the pastor of Hillsong New York. He spoke about the glorification of finished products. But the real reward is not in the finale. The real reward is in the hard days, the pain, and the rejection.
God loves the process and that is where He does His best work in me. In all of us. Our worst days, our painful experiences make us who we are meant to be. The process makes us who we are meant to be. The days where I want to give up. The days that I compare myself. Those are the days that make me stronger. Those are the days that move me through the process. I can take my pain and channel it to the greater good. I can use my experiences to uplift someone else.
I don't want to be a finished product. I want to relish in the process.